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This period marks a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” hit the common lexicon. Initially, the concept that someone could suddenly stop contact with a lover without a word seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, seeking a significant other has only become more confounding – an frequently pointless exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media lingo.

Gen Z, a demographic who grew up during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated attack on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a far messier landscape than their millennial predecessors could ever fathom. And so their dating glossary has grown longer and more unhinged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the limits of your mental fortitude.

Below is a extensive glossary to the terms gen Z is using to navigate romance, sex and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring memes, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because where that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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A

Realness – According to Zoomers, romance's ideal is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A social media test connected to a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your partner’s reply is interested or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s response to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while exuding enigma and independence. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This signifies seeking out someone who aids you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would get a chair for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A outing where two people form a link while running errands, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a signifier of 1980s young urban professional excess, it describes partners who opt out of parenthood to prioritize their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of acting aloof: practicing dialogue, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Personal traits suggesting a prospective partner is not right. Examples include calling their exes unstable, poor gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits validate your choice to date a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, largely benign idiosyncrasies. Such as being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (few things creates closeness faster than having a common enemy).

The Letter G

Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Gooners – A primarily online community of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately postponing climax so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An ideal championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to see the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and frequently trivial repulsions that instantly extinguish any sense of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an incredibly thoughtful display.

J

Jobs – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in fields they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Kittenfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {